____

Out of breath, I was running up spiral staircases that led to a strange scene. A moon, looking incredibly out of proportion, highlighted everything in the vicinity. At the center of attention were a huge round trampoline and, at the other end of the spacious ground, a "tramp" floating, smiling, greeting, "Bon soir! You are on time, Mademoiselle!"

The trampoline was familiar. Whenever I was going to get sick, like catching a fever, I dreamt of playing trampoline. But the tramp had never been there before, although she was familiar in different context — she was Harle, the 7^th dragon from Chrono Cross.

I looked back and forth between the trampoline and Harle, trying to make their connection. And, after sometimes, her mysterious smile grew more and more disquieting.

"... and why are you here?" I finally asked. "By any chance, my dream hasn't turned into some sort of.... son et lumière, has it?"

Her smile vanished. Looking apprehensive, she turned to the bright moon. "This time," she spoke quietly as if to herself, "it's going to be different..."

"Different? What do you mean?" I was puzzled.

But she put on the smile back and did the trade-mark somersault. "Come! Tonight's air feels fantastic...," she said and then shot up.

So I got onto the trampoline. With a single stomp, I was propepelled into the night sky. Though I knew that I was getting sick, I always liked this virtual sensation of soaring through the clouds. I could almost hear the wind whispering in excitement. And, as gravity didn't seem to cease functioning even in dreams, I began freefalling at a point.

And then, the morning alarm rang. Between sleep and awake, I thought I saw Harle walking away as she said, "Au revoir!... See you soon... It'll be lonely by yourself, so I'll keep you company..."

And so I fell, face down, with a 39,7 degree centigrade fever.

____

39,7. Apart from it being made up from my favourite numbers, I didn't really know what that meant. It was just.... numbers. And I never cared much about body temperature numbers. I do know the normal temperature of 36,5, but what happens if it goes past 39 is beyond me. All I felt was delirium. I felt light and floating.

But it was slightly different. Within two days, another number came up: my platelet level dropped to 132000. I was sent to hospital — my first time ever. Another day went by, the platelet level dropped to 70000, and the next day, to 13000.

I was coughing blood.

____

"Are you quitting your life....?"

"What?! says who?" I disagreed wholeheartedly.

"Whatever you say... but by the rate you're going... you'd be a goner."

We were playing chess. Harle proved to be a formidable player. So far I hadn't scored any winning.

"You're obviously not fighting!" She said while moving her knight, "you see... checkmate!"

____

For the first time, I felt fear of dying. For the first time, I was unwilling to say the prayer ...and end my life if it's better for me.... I thought hard why I wasn't willing even if it was for my best... No, I don't want to die. I don't think I am ready yet...

In the meantime, I asked grandma, who looked after me at the hospital, to force me to drink every thirty minutes. And my right hand started to swell, as the nurses now took blood samples every morning and afternoon.

____

Another dream, and it was a labyrinth.

"They say labyrinth is built to hide things... to ward off those who shouldn't get them, who quit looking for a way..."

"And what's in there?"

"That is for you to find out!"

For days, I walked through the labyrinth. Twice, I came back at the starting point. Countless times, there were walls keeping me off the track. But in the end, I reached the vault.

I found two books. The first one was filled with words to the last page while the other contained fresh blank pages.

"the book of my life...." I read the title on both books.

"Yes, your life..."

"Both of them?"

"That is... if you still have time to live," Harle said. "Read the old one... is it concluded?"

I jumped to the last page, and read the last three words "..... to be continued."

____

"Your platelet are leveling up. It's now back to 70000. With sufficient bedrest in couple of days, you'll be okay..." the doctor spoke.

Alhamdulillah... I am going home.

____

In our last chess match, there wasn't much exchanges. I tried hard to beat her, but in the end, I still lost.

"So this is good bye?"

"For a while..."

And she vanished.

____

This year's Ramadhan taught new thing, be aware of numbers!, and reminded me of other thing...

Though the pages are numbered,
I can't see where they lead...
For the end is a mystery no one can read,
in the book of my life...

— Sting, Book of My Life

Thank you, Ramadhan! and hope to meet again next year, preferably without the trampoline and the tramp..... amiin.

Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum.... minal aidin wal faidzin... have a festive 'Iedul Fitri 1428 Hijriyah...

Friends, makasih do'a-do'a-nya...

......... hmm... the whole thing made me recall that song... 'dreams are for those who sleep, life is for us to keep....'